I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
