you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
