It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
