it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
