she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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