so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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