too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
