Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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