I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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