It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
