How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
