I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
