why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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