If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
