I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize