Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
