I'm eating all of the evidence.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
