girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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