PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So vagazzling was a success
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
