I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
