Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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