the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
