omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
