And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
