So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
