That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
