we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize