doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
