Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
