I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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