hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
