A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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