you mean i was at the winter classic?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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