A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
