I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
