I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
