Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
