For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
