he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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