Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
