Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
