I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
