he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
