we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
