I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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