That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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