Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
