Three words: puerto rican gang bang
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize