Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
