i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
