Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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