is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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