careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
