So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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