i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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